JOKES[hearing aid]

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.
If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you get a
response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."
Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so,

He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

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"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

Moral of the story:
The problem may not be with the other one as we always think,
could be very much within us...!

What i hate about women[A MUS READ!!!]

[HEY i din wrote this!!! juz found it from a article in The Star..i hav d original if u r intrested! :D]

What I Hate About Women

after more than a decade of single adult life,I can honestly say i now know less about women than i did when i was 18 yrs old.
i do nt understand women.i do not have any illusions about ever understanding women.I've said it b4, & i'll say it again---show me a man who say he understands women, & i'll show u every women he ever known, laughing behind his back.
there probably are several hundred things about women tat i love.bt when pressed, i can think of a few things bout women tat i hate:

1. The way they fight
women don fight fair.with squirrel-like effciency, they gather nuggets of infomation & store them in a secret place, onli 2retrieve then when they needed most--in a middle of an arguement!
EXAMPLE: nt long ago, a female friend claimed i dint alwaz follow through my promises.i begged 2differ. thus began an arguement. it was a heat bt relatively rational discussion,UNTIL my friend suddenly blurted out:"Yeah, bt in 1999 you promised 2help me with the term paper bt u never did!!!"

is tough 2fight back tat kind of arsenal

2.The way they shift de blame
even though is clearly her fault & i've clearly done ntg wrong, she uses this line.It shouldnt work,bt it alwaz does.She look me rite in the eye,blinks a tear & say:"DOMT LAY THIS GUILT TRIP ON ME."


3.The old "SENSE OF HUMOUR' quote
evi woman i ever met,& evi woman's magazine survey i ever red,invariably trumpets d importance of a man sense of humour.you seen the questionnaire:

Q.What do you think is the most important quality a man can have?

1.Honesty 2.A great rear end 3. A lot of money$ 4. A sense of humour

& we were told that 97% of the respondents said," A SENSE OF HUMOUR." i don bliv it 4a minute.Come on , do you reli care if Brad Pitt laugh at ur jokes???

3.Cats
if there is a single woman who does not own a cat, i would like to ask her to marry me. i know nothing about breeds of cats, but i do knows that all cats owned by woman have that special man-hating gene.Cats hiss at me, jump at me, scatch my shoes & shed on my coat. Yet, when a date say, "I hope u & Fluffles have made friends," she never realise i was about to kick a field goal, using Fluffles as the football.


4.Comedy movies
Men & women have a different collective sense of humour.What's really infuriating, however, is the lack of female appreciation fro the great modern comedies of our time.
these are the movies men love to rent & watch over & over with their buddies, quoting the classic lines & cackling in appreciation of the sight gags.these are also the movies tat make woman shake their their heads & say, "i dont know why you guys think this movie is so funny.It's so stupid."
For the record,these movies include that all-time Hall Of Fame classic,

How To Murder Your Wife

5.Guy Naviety

guys are smart enough to know ost guys are jerks. Women are smarter than guys in almost every respect, EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO JERK-DETECTING.It drives us nuts when we see women falling for guys who are obviously after only one thing.'
I actually heard women say things like,"Oh, my personal trainer says he appreciates my body as a work of art. He is not intrested inme sexually." & "Oh,my boss is just a friend.we go out for lunch or a drink sometime, & he send me flowers, bt he never made a move. I completely trust him."
& "oh ,i meet this guy in a bar, he was so nice.he called me at work today & he was so nice.Oh, he was so nice."

Oh, bullcrap

i guess thats it. theres nothing else bout women that really bothers me. I love women. I love almost everything about them. Well...there is this weird habit of women have of spending a day with a friend, & coming home...& calling that same friend & talking to her for hours on end.

What could they possibly have to talk after spending the day together??? i just dont get it...---TheStar

READ IT!!!

1. Your reading my post

2. Now your saying/thinking thats a stupid fact.

4. You didnt notice that i skipped 3.

5. Your checking it now.

6. Your smiling.

7. Your still reading my post.

8. You know all you have read is true.

10. You didnt notice that i skipped 9.

11. Your checking it now.

12. You didnt notice there are only 10 facts